I haven’t formed any New Year’s resolutions because I think it is stupid to wait an entire year to make goals for oneself, when one is perfectly capable mustering up a modicum of resolve on any given day of the year. I have a few long-term goals already: be more organized, minimize clutter in the apartment, be more healthy, etc., but, not to be left out of this honored holiday tradition, I decided to consult the Resolution Randomizer for my New Year’s Resolution. Here are five suggested goals for 2009:
- Never be caught singing showtunes with co-workers.
- Share my ideas about eating breakfast at any time. Ever.
- Explore doing shots when I’m provoked.
- Probably stop letting myself go under the table.
- Abstain from telling lewd jokes at inappropriate times.
I’ll get right on that. Blueberry Belgian waffles for dinner.