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Diversions

My Friend Pinky

My mind is a complete wasteland right now. I’m not whining- just stating facts. OK, that said, onto the post.

So, if you had a flying pink monkey, where would you keep it? Personally, I’d keep it in my non-running car. It would be able to come and go as it pleased of course, but it would sleep there and play and eat and crap outside. NO monkeys in the apartment. Aside from the mess it’d probably make, my apartment is SMALL. It wouldn’t be fair to keep a cat here, well enough a large-ish, flying primate.

What do flying monkeys eat anyway?  Do the pink variety ever wish they weren’t pink? I saw pics of tattooed hairless cats recently. I wonder if flying pink monkeys like tats. And maybe they think that is CRAZY.

I wonder what the other tenants would think. You’re heading out to your car on a cold, early morning and WHOOSH. Flying monkey. Come on. That would be pretty sweet. Unless the flying monkey scene in the Wizard of Oz scares you. Then I suppose the above scenario would be decidedly uncool.

OH! I could ask Pinky to crap on that stupid white boat of a car, which is always poorly parked because its owner is a genetically deficient asshat. Take THAT! I bet Pinky would scare the crap out of the lady who pushes her cat around in a stroller. She’d probably think that Pinky wanted to eat Baby. I think Pinky and Kitty-Baby would get along famously. Monkey not eat Baby. Baby friend.

I wonder how well flying monkeys take to training. He could fetch the mail. It’s probaby a bit much to expect Pinky to do the laundry, but maybe he could master taking out the trash. I wouldn’t trust Pinky to water my plants. In fact, I’m not sure that Pinky wouldn’t EAT the plants. Bad monkey.

Alas, Pinky isn’t a servant. I’m not even sure he’s a pet. Pinky is his own person-primate-thing. That flies. He could fly away one day and not come back. Maybe Pinky would get lonely. He might leave to go find a Mrs. Pinky to settle down with. I would wish Pinky well. It really wasn’t right that he was reduced to sleeping in cars and terrorizing the neighbors for my amusement.

Be free Pinky. Be free.