Diversions Life

In which She Tries to be Smarter

I started a post this morning on the bus but my WordPress app ate it. Trying again. I will be back-dating this post for yesterday’s missed BEDA and then I will post my final BEDA tonight.

Wednesday was a hump day in more ways than one. I’ve been emotionally drained lately. I’ve been pulled in different directions by people I am very close to- and not in a major way. Just little things, here and there, all adding up. I had the opportunity to talk it out some yesterday and afterward I felt much better. However, I foresee this happening again so, here is my plan for avoiding this in the future.

Yes, I am not happy unless the people I care about are happy and are getting along together. Yes, it is unrealistic to think that everyone I care about will all be best friends and won’t ever compete for my time or attention. Yes, I need to know what I want and, sometimes, I need to put that first instead of trying to make everyone else happy. Yes, people cannot read my mind. Yes, I need to be open and honest with everyone. No, I’m not going to be bitchy about it. And no, I don’t expect everyone to take this honesty well all of the time. Sometimes you have to disappoint people.

I have no control over other people’s expectations of me. Some expectations may be explicit to others but completely unknown to me. Some expecatations I didn’t sign up for at all. I guess I need to anticapte this better somehow, to make sure these expectations are realistic. Communication is probably the only way to do this.