When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be a quadruped and run around in the woods all day. I’ve wanted to be a veterinarian, a writer, a traveler, and a spy. My musician phase lasted quite a while- I dreamed of mastering them all. These days, I’d settle for traditional Irish fiddler. I’m none of those things. My life, in some ways, has been somewhat unexpected. For one, I’m married. I don’t remember that being in the plan. Two: I’m a librarian. Funny, I’ve loved books and libraries all of my life but never did I think, gee, I should be a librarian, at least not until I was almost through my bachelors degree.
I get restless- often. I could, in theory, just leave my present life. I could lock myself up and write a novel. I could cross the waters and learn fiddle from the masters. But wait, my present life isn’t boring (although I’m sure others would find my life pretty dull compared to their standards). I love my family, my friends, and my work. I like my time spent at home (even before staycations became cool- or necessary in this time of recession). So why do I feel unsatisfied at times?
Sometimes I forget: I’m stuck only because I’ve chosen to be so. I own a fiddle. I scribble now and then. I have traveled a bit and do plan to do so in the future- even if it is seeing Bloomington as a tourist whilst raising funds to get over to the UK. Not being a veterinarian I can live with; I could volunteer at the shelter. Being a spy? OK, that’s a pass. I do, however, see much more than people intend for me to see. OK, so it is extremely unlikely that I’ll turn into a four-legger and frolic in the forest. I do however, have plans to write about it.
If I am stuck, it is a choice. I am mine.